What can teenage boys learn about being an ‘Alpha’ from chimps?

Recently, I found myself binge-watching Chimp Empire on Netflix, a documentary that dives deep into the social structures of chimpanzees living in Uganda’s Ngogo Forest. It’s fascinating, not just because we get a glimpse into the raw, primal world of chimps, but because their social dynamics, especially around the idea of the “Alpha” resonated with so much of what we see in human behaviour—particularly among teen boys.

As I watched these chimps navigate their complex social hierarchies, I couldn’t help but draw parallels between their behaviours and the often misunderstood “Alpha” mentality that many young men are exposed to. 

It got me thinking: What if the lessons we take from chimps about being an “alpha” are more nuanced than the superficial, aggressive model often glorified in pop /online culture? 

Power Isn’t Just About Strength

At first glance, it’s easy to assume that the alpha chimp rules through brute force. There are definitely moments in the documentary where physical dominance is on full display—chimps pounding their chests, showing off their power, or engaging in fights. This behaviour, for many, reinforces the stereotype that being an alpha male means being the biggest, strongest, and loudest person in the room.

But as the episodes unfolded, I saw something much more complex. Yes, physical power can get a chimp noticed, but it’s not the key to long-term success. In fact, some of the most successful alpha males in the troop weren’t the ones constantly fighting or intimidating others. They were the ones who played a longer, smarter game—using social intelligence, building alliances, and maintaining strong relationships with both males and females in the group. This struck me as something that’s so often overlooked in the way we think about leadership.

Leadership Is About Strategy and Cooperation

One of the most eye-opening aspects of Chimp Empire was watching how alpha chimps secured their power. It wasn’t through constant aggression but through cooperation. These alpha males groomed other chimps, shared resources, and invested in relationships. It wasn’t just about asserting dominance but also about earning trust and loyalty from the group.

For teen boys, especially those trying to figure out their place in the social pecking order, there’s a real lesson here. Being a leader or an “alpha” in human society often has less to do with how tough you are and more to do with how well you can connect with others. In chimps, just like in human friendships or teams, respect is built on mutual support, not just displays of strength.

Balancing Power with Empathy

Another surprising takeaway from the show was the delicate balance that alpha chimps must maintain between aggression and empathy. While they sometimes use force to keep their status, they also have to be cautious not to alienate their group members. A chimp that’s too aggressive can spark resentment and, ultimately, rebellion.

This balance made me reflect on how many boys, influenced by movies or social media, might think that being an alpha is about being feared. But the truth is, being a leader is about having empathy—understanding the needs of the group and making decisions that benefit others, not just yourself. Teen boys can take a lot from this: that real respect comes from being fair, kind, and supportive, not from trying to be the scariest person around.

Leadership Isn’t Permanent

It was clear that staying in the alpha position is no easy feat. Chimps constantly have to read the room, adjust their strategies, and keep their alliances strong to avoid being overthrown. The alpha males that become complacent or too focused on their own power often end up losing their status—and sometimes in brutal ways.

This idea applies to life, too. Teen boys might think that once you’ve established yourself as a leader in your social circle, team, or even family, that’s it. But true leadership requires continuous effort. You can’t just rest on your laurels or assume your position is permanent. Like chimps, humans value those who keep growing, learning, and adapting to the needs of their group.

Misusing Power Has Consequences

One of the darker aspects of the series was witnessing what happens when alpha chimps misuse their power. Those who rule too violently or selfishly often face resistance from their group, either losing allies or being physically challenged. In some cases, their reign ends in injury or exile.

This was a sobering reminder that power—whether in a chimp troop or a human society—comes with responsibility. Being an alpha doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. If you abuse your position, people will push back. For teen boys, this might mean losing friends, damaging relationships, or facing social isolation. Leadership requires a sense of fairness and accountability, not just dominance.

For teen boys growing up in a world that often glorifies a more unhealthy version of masculinity, the lessons from Chimp Empire offer a refreshing, thoughtful perspective.

Instead of focusing on being the loudest or the strongest, we should focus on building strong relationships, helping others, and being adaptable. That’s what real leadership looks like—whether you’re a chimp in the Ngogo forest or a teenager navigating the social dynamics of school, sports, or life.

Written by: Richard Pomfrett – Boyz-2-Men

Photo by Elton Oliver on Unsplash